I don't know...

I don't know what I want,
Don't know where I want to be,
Cannot differentiate what is right or wrong,
Or even think right ....or act at a timely manner,

Could this be the sign?
That this is the time?
To move, stay or follow my dream?
Everything seems a struggle,

What do I need?
Not expensive gifts, shoes or branded items,
Those things never makes me happy anyway,
I want items that Money can't buy,

I don't know what is feelings anymore,
Constant hurt...makes me cold even more,
Sensitive me as it seems,
For that feelings that I don't know how to react no more,

REFLECTION FOR TODAY MOVIE TITLE "MY SISTER KEEPER"

Today, as i was happily waiting to chat with a friend of mine from Swiss...not knowing that I was fool or may be I'm being too sensitive about it...

Anyway, back to the movie that I 'm going to share after watching beautiful movie that touches my heart. Sometimes in life ,we thought that we can fight for everything...but we forget that we are not GOD, at times we don't take charged of our life....we have to realistic about life...yes we can fight...fight to survive, fight for your rights, fight for your dignity....and etc. The moral of this story is that we have to learn to respect what other wants ..in other words human rights and not what we presume to be our way, and  we have to learn to  listen from others opinion not just yours....

This movie makes me cry so much...may be I'm being a cry baby..i think but truly meaningful ....definitely change my perception about life and what to fight for.....and yes we lived ones...but never forget to respect others decision as well....

Fours years today in Saudi

Year 2006 Feb 5, I arrived here in Jedd ah. And now 2010 marks four years being here. I cannot believe it and hard to believe, my question to myself I dunno when I will leave and where I want to be....absolutely clueless, if any one asked me when ......the answer "I don't know" and I hope soon after i finish what I have started, I guess I can only take one thing at a time and one day as it goes......nothing is permanent in this life and hopefully the day will come that I know where I belong for good.......

But for now....I know that I wanted to finish what I have started......and looking forward for my graduation....

This year will get better as it goes......

I LOOK TO YOU LYRICS BY WHITNEY HOUSTON

Its been sometimes that I have not put any words in here. May be I'm trying to avoid or too busy with my own life not knowing what to do.... Today when I really at the gate  of running away or giving up everything ....I had now....but doubt sucks in ..when I don't know what to do!!! I had a chance to watch Oprah and she interviewed my favourite singer..that gives me inspiration...many times in shit moments...and this time same....I heard this song that inspire me again ..to NOT TO GIVE UP ! which i would like to share this lyric to all:

As I lay down,

Heaven hear now,

I'm lost without a cause,

Afer giving it my all,

Winter storms have come,

And darkened my sun,

After all that I 've been through,

Who on earth can I turn to,

I look to you,

I look to you,

After all my strength is gone,

In you I can be strong,

I look to you,

I look to you,

And the melodies are gone,

In you I hear a song,

I look to you,

After losing my breath,

There's no more fighting left,

Sinking to rise no more,

Searching for that open door,

And every road that I have taken,

Lead to my regret,

And I don't know if I'm gonna make it,

Nothing to do but lift up my head,

I look to you,

I look to you,

Take me far away from the battle,

I need you,

Shine on me,

 I look to you,

I look to you,

GAME OF LOVE

Tell me,
Just what you want me to be?
one kiss and boom you 're the only one to me,
So please tell me,
Why don't you come around no more?
Cause right now I'm,
Crying outside the door,
Of your candy store,

It just takes a little bit of this,
a little bit of that,
It started with a kiss,
now we're up to bat,
A little bit of laughs,

A little bit of pain,
I'm telling you may be its all in the game of love...

is, whatever you make it to be,
Sunshine, set on this cold, lonely sea,
So please baby,
try and use for what I'm good for,
It ain't saying,
Goodbye its knocking down the door of your candy store,

You roll me,
Control me,
console me,
You guide me, divide me into what?
Makes me feels good
Now here am I on my own, on my own?

Michelle Branch featuring Santana

BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

He drowns in his dream,
an exquitsite extreme i know,
he's as damned as he seems,
more heaven than a heart could hold,
and if i tried to save him,
my whole world could cave in,
just ain't right,
just ain't right,
oh i don't know,
i don't know what he's after,
but he's so beautiful,
such a beautiful disaster,
if i could hold on,
through the tears and the laugther,
would be it beautiful,
or just beautiful disaster,
he'smagic and myth,
as strong as what i believe,
a tradegy with,
more damage than soul should see,
and do i try to change his decision,
so hard not to blame him,
hold on tight,
hold on tight,
i'm longing for love and logical,
but he's only happy hysterical,
i'm waiting for some kind or miracle,
waiting for so long,
he's soft to the touch,
but frayed at the ends he breaks,
he's never enough,
and still he's more than i can take


written by Matthew Wilder/ Rebekah
Sing by Kelly Clarkson

TASTELESS...

I can cook, but the food seems tasteless to me,
I can bake but I don't feel like having a piece,
I can't eat, what's wrong with me?
How can I sustain with this misery?
All I can take is fluids to fill my tummy,
How can banana smoothies and yogurt gives me energy?
When will this be over? I need to taste the food that I usually consume,
I have the veges and the meat but where is my passion for food?
Where can I find it? Why is this happening to me?
Why LOVES do this to me?
I thought LOVE, supposed to be wonderful feeling,
Why I end up like this?
Cold, heartless, loveless and lonely,
I'm so hungry,
Am I hungry for LOVE?
Or hungry for food?
I forgot what's the taste of food,
My usual craving seems bitter to me,
Please take this pain away from me,
For all I have done and all I ever did, In the name of LOVE !!!!!

KIMI